I waited until now before saying anything. A few people know what I went through yesterday, but I didn't really elaborate. I needed to come to terms with a lot of it and now that I have done so, here goes.

I knew he had cancer. We were asked not to make it public. He wanted to go through this quietly and with dignity. I did tell one person who cared about him deeply. I knew I could trust her and I knew she would have wanted to know. I knew this day would happen. I asked Randy a few months ago how Bob was doing. I knew it would happen but I still wasn't ready for it.
Bob was one of the first Eastern people I met. When Randy and I got to Marcus' house, Bob was in the kitchen.... and smiled. My god...his smile could light up a room. I knew then and there that I really liked the guy. He was so laid back... just an awesome guy to hang with. I won't say more because everyone who met him felt the same way I am sure. (plus I want to make it through this post without crying)

At the last conference I got wasted on Thursday night. (shocker eh?) I was so wasted that I didnt know what room I was staying in. Roni told me her room number and I even forgot that. Bob looked out for me though. He offered half his bed to me and of course I accepted. He was a perfect gentleman and I was/am eternally grateful.

That said.... when I left staff at Eastern, there was quite a bit of hostility and anger and some dreadful things were said. I am not going to point any fingers or even discuss that situation publicly, but it has a lot to do with why I made this post.

It sucks to hold grudges. I get so wrapped up in anger and negativity... so upset that someone could be actually human and say something harsh or dare someone to say something cruel. Everyone can be mean, everyone can be cruel. People are human, and a few bad actions shouldn't take the spotlight away from who or what a person really is. He was a very kind and generous man who deserved to live a full life; not to die so young. 

God this hurts.

I forgive you Bob. I am so sorry I didn't say this before you died. I hope you forgave me as well. Life is too short to be angry.