My wife called me here at work a few minutes ago. In a cheerful voice, she said "I got a surprise for you when you get home!"

Now, when one hears a statement like that, one can react different ways. You could take the safe method, which would be to say something like "A surprise? Oh, goody-goody-gumdrops! I just LOVE surprises! Whatever could it be?" Or, one could be a smartass about it.

I chose the latter.

In my most enthusiastic voice, I said, "You finally drilled that Glory Hole in the bathroom wall like I've been asking you to?"

I... chose... poorly.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, another voice said, "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

It was my mother-in-law, who was on the line, just so she could hear my reaction to being informed that she had bought us a brand-new AC for our bedroom, as an early anniversary present.

I think I'll stay here at work for a while. Hell, I might even work through the weekend.